As the rest of the world knows, Kanye recently released his newest album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. As the world also knows, this fantasy involves a world without T-PainSwift. Sorry, had to throw that one in there. Obviously he fantasizes about a world of T-Pain, considering his use of the voice synth that Mr.Pain had swallowed at childbirth.
More to the point, I recently discovered this strange website, , which seems to claim that hipsters don’t in fact love Kanye. Instead, this Carles character even goes to say that his newest album doesn’t deserve a 10.0 and that the hip kids at have no idea what they’re talking about. I’m here to disprove this theory with the same logic that I have been using.
1.) Kanye totes dresses alt.
To those of you in shock and awe after that picture. YES. He is wearing a keffiyeh. To the all the lamestreamers, it may just seem to be a quirky means of dress. But hipsters know. They can smell the alt. Kanye has been known for dressing quite nicely, but quite unlike everyone else, totes preserves-ing his individuality. You’ll always be your own man, Kanye, no matter what the haters say.
2.) Kanye samples old music.
I’m pretty sure hipsters love old music, because most non-alt kids have ever heard of this old music. So in this way, hipsters have an edge on mainstream music because it is heavily rooted in music that the general populace doesn’t frequent. Neato. Just one more way for the alts to prove that they are musically and culturally superior.
3.) Kanye’s hate of haters.
There’s nothing hipster hate more than haters. The whole point of dressing the way they do and putting as much effort as they do into their attire is to create “good vibes.” However, how can they do that with a atmosphere of “bad vibes?” I’m not quite sure if it’s even possible. So when the unchill bros come and hate on your new nike sb’s that you bought on ebay for $100, and then ask if you can feel the circulation in your feet anyway from those jeans, you know that your vibe is being harmed. And that doesn’t make hipsters happy whatsoever. They wanna get mad rspct from other chill bros. So does Kanye.
4.) P4k supports Kanye.
The whole indie music culture reads this web blog and about music and such. Basically, this website can help you determine whether your love for Nickelback should be voiced in public or
not
. So when p4k tells the whole culture that Kanye’s new album deserves a stellar 10.0 (Wilco was the only other band deserving of this lofty achievement) you know that it is encouraged for you to mention this new band/album that you found on the internet discovered.
5.) Kanye loves Melancholy Mollusk.
Kanye gives Melancholy Mollusk a thumbs up! So do hipsters! They have a shared love. Therefore, alt kids love Kanye.
If this hasn’t proved why hipsters love Kanye, hopefully this will.
Love,
-Upholder of Doctorates
